6. What are some of the things you are careful to do with your children as a result of your childhood experiences? How do you teach them things like manners and cleaning when those two areas were so awful during your upbringing?
The most important thing that I try to do is not carry on the tradition of abuse. I was one of the lucky ones compared to a lot of people who are victimized I was taken out of the home at ten years old therefor I had eight years of experience with a different way of discipline and teaching of values.
My children all have assigned tasks that best suit there abilities. The oldest does the dishes and walks the dogs, the middle one laundry and feeds the dogs, and the younger two garbage. All of them help the others with their tasks when theirs are finished.
There is also a great difference in the reprimand of poorly done jobs. If for example they wash one dish badly. I do not require them to wash every dish in the whole house just the dish that they miswashed. Sometimes I have to remind them sternly to do their assigned task but I never drag them there, by their ears or make them do it without any cloths on. If they do not do their jobs their privileges are taken away such as Video games, and TV until it is complete. I give them a three strikes your out rule I tell them nicely three times before raising my voice.
As far as manners go there are three rules that I have established that have kept the peace for the most part.
Rule One: Ask person to stop if that doesn't work move to Rule two
Rule Two: Leave troubled situation and do rule three
Rule Three: Tell Parent
My children know these rules and fallow them most of the time.
I have instructed them in Etiquette but I don't yell at them if they put there elbows on the table or forget and chew with their mouth open. Meal times are about being together and most of our everyday meals are on TV trays watching our favorite shows.
I know that if you were to ask my children they would probably tell you first off that I am a terrible dictator but then after further questioning consed that I am not that bad. The tasks that I have assigned them are things that they need to know to survive when they leave here. Every one in the house will know how to wash the dishes, do laundry and remedial tasks like vacuuming and bathroom clean up. That said I do not solely require them to do it by themselves I take my turn at all of the tasks.
After rereading this I must stress one other point my children are loved outwardly, this means that they are told repeatedly that they are loved. Hugs are given all of the time not just when they are hurt . There is no secret love around here, and I think that in turn they show this love in there good behavior.