Saturday, November 19, 2011

The river is so loud it silences all words Answer to question 10 of 100

10. What do you think your stepmother’s reaction was to you being taken away to live with your uncle and aunt? Imagine a conversation between her and your father after they learned of your fate. 

I cannot imagine the conversation that my stepmother and father had after we were taken away. As far as I can recall they never had any conversations when I was still there. My stepmother had a way of talking circles that would confuse anyone into giving her exactly what she wanted and all the while the victim of her rant would think it was their idea.

My brother thinks that such a conversation would have gone something like this.

Stepmother- "Isn't it nice that we can finally take a family vacation without the kids ruining everything? They always found a way to ruin the whole trip. Don't you think so?"

Father- "Do we have anymore of those cookies?"

 Did it happen that way? I would not be surprised if it had. My dad was a man of little words, especially about things that hurt him. He knew deep down what had happened but he was so filled with sadness he could do nothing to stop or change it. 

I can, with a heavy heart, tell you for certain the conversation I had with my dad on the last day I saw him. After a long hard fight, I had finally convinced everyone to let me see my dad alone without a case worker lurking in the background. So one weekend he come up to see me, we got pizza and went to the park to talk.

At first I joked with him about wearing a hideous leather bracelet that I made for him. The funniest thing about this bracelet was that it was bright pink and purple and it looked ridiculous on him. He was so proud of it. He wore it like a Rolex and I felt silly and honored all at once. We talked about school and my brothers, and then as our time together grew to a close he got very serious and asked me:
Father-"Will you ever come home?" 
Me- "Do you still live with her?" 
He nodded
Me- "I can't! I just can't live with her." 
He hung his head in defeat. 

We said our goodbyes and he dropped me back at my aunt and uncle's House.
 The very next week he was gone from this world lost in the Missouri River. That dark conversation still haunts me to this day.